Letters To My Son

My most precious boy,

I love you so very much. You are only 23 weeks and a few days old and I am more in love with you than I ever thought I could be with anything. It is a new and a different feeling, a different kind of love that you gave to me. I think about it a lot and when I do I almost can't help but get emotional. Experiencing this love has been a revolution for me in more ways than one. I don't know if it something that a person can know until they actually experience it. A father's love for his son. 

I didn't grow up in the traditional family dynamic so maybe that is why this was so startling to me. Even still, I can tell you that I was loved beyond measure, and I know all of my parents love me immensely and unconditionally. Maybe it is just that it is not something I sat down and thought about before because it was not an emotion I had ever had. Either way I know it is something I now treasure. 

What this love has taught me, what having you has taught me, is this. If I have the mountain of love that I do for you, imagine the vastness, the deepness, the strength of the love that God has for me (and you, and all of his children for that matter). It is hard to fathom, to even begin to comprehend the magnitude of a love like that. For me it was a profound realization and it truly has changed the way that I view my relationship with Christ. I think for me not having a father figure in my life on a day in and day out basis to develop an understanding of that type of a relationship is part of why I may have missed it. Whether that is the case or not I had never thought about the relational component of God's love in that way. I do now and I am so thankful for it. I feel like when that clicked in my human brain it immediately changed the depth and dynamic of my relationship with the Lord.

I think I have gotten a good bit off topic with this letter to you but I want to close with two things, a promise and a prayer. 

My promise to you is that as your dad I am going to do everything I can to be the man, husband, and father that I need to be in order for you to see this love and to know this love from the very beginning. That when you look at me you know how much I love the Lord, love your mama, and love you.

My prayer is that God would give me the strength, discipline, and grace to be that man. That God would bless you with a kind, loving, empathetic heart like your mother. I pray that you ask Jesus into your heart, that you run to him and embrace him, and that you spend your life in the love of Christ. That you will have a loving relationship with Him from your earliest days and that you live in that relationship every minute of every day. I pray that God protect you against the enemy, that he help you to avoid the temptations and the pitfalls that I struggled with. Lastly, I pray that whether or not you do that you know in you heart of hearts that God loves you, and so do I bubba. And that no matter what we always will.

I love you so much. 

Dad