Letters To My Son

My most precious boy,

I love you so very much. You are only 23 weeks and a few days old and I am more in love with you than I ever thought I could be with anything. It is a new and a different feeling, a different kind of love that you gave to me. I think about it a lot and when I do I almost can't help but get emotional. Experiencing this love has been a revolution for me in more ways than one. I don't know if it something that a person can know until they actually experience it. A father's love for his son. 

I didn't grow up in the traditional family dynamic so maybe that is why this was so startling to me. Even still, I can tell you that I was loved beyond measure, and I know all of my parents love me immensely and unconditionally. Maybe it is just that it is not something I sat down and thought about before because it was not an emotion I had ever had. Either way I know it is something I now treasure. 

What this love has taught me, what having you has taught me, is this. If I have the mountain of love that I do for you, imagine the vastness, the deepness, the strength of the love that God has for me (and you, and all of his children for that matter). It is hard to fathom, to even begin to comprehend the magnitude of a love like that. For me it was a profound realization and it truly has changed the way that I view my relationship with Christ. I think for me not having a father figure in my life on a day in and day out basis to develop an understanding of that type of a relationship is part of why I may have missed it. Whether that is the case or not I had never thought about the relational component of God's love in that way. I do now and I am so thankful for it. I feel like when that clicked in my human brain it immediately changed the depth and dynamic of my relationship with the Lord.

I think I have gotten a good bit off topic with this letter to you but I want to close with two things, a promise and a prayer. 

My promise to you is that as your dad I am going to do everything I can to be the man, husband, and father that I need to be in order for you to see this love and to know this love from the very beginning. That when you look at me you know how much I love the Lord, love your mama, and love you.

My prayer is that God would give me the strength, discipline, and grace to be that man. That God would bless you with a kind, loving, empathetic heart like your mother. I pray that you ask Jesus into your heart, that you run to him and embrace him, and that you spend your life in the love of Christ. That you will have a loving relationship with Him from your earliest days and that you live in that relationship every minute of every day. I pray that God protect you against the enemy, that he help you to avoid the temptations and the pitfalls that I struggled with. Lastly, I pray that whether or not you do that you know in you heart of hearts that God loves you, and so do I bubba. And that no matter what we always will.

I love you so much. 

Dad

Bump It Up - 23 Weeks

How far along: 23 weeks

Gender: Boy.

Weight gain: 18 lbs? I don't know and this is just a guess. 

Maternity clothes: No, and it is now getting ridiculous. I think I'll finally cave this weekend and go buy some maternity things.

Stretch marks: Not yet.

Belly button in or out: In. I'm amazed at how shallow my belly button is, and that it is still holding out.

Work Outs: Three! I've started getting up early to get in a little exercise before work. We'll see how long I can keep it up.

Sleep: Not good. Tossing and turning all night now.

Best moment this week: Going on our hospital tour. Seeing where our little guy will be born was so exciting. We both really liked the hospital and it made me feel great about our decision to deliver there.

Worst moment this week: Going to double down on the lack of sleep.

Miss anything: Sushi, champagne and beer.

Movement: Yes! He moves all the time now. Usually he gets busy after I've just eaten.

Cravings: Everything bagels with chive and onion cream cheese. So yummy.

Queasy or sick: Nope. Feeling really good. 

Nursery: We bought a rug and rocking chair this week! I have my eye on some curtains already too.

Looking forward to: Warm weather. We've been getting peeks of the warm weather, and I can't wait for it to stick around. Also warmer weather means we're that much closer to meeting our little man.

Bump It Up - 22 Weeks

How far along: 22 weeks

Gender: Boy.

Weight gain: 16 lbs? I don't really know and this is just  guess. 

Maternity clothes: No, and it is now getting ridiculous.

Stretch marks: I don't think so. Maybe one on my side. 

Belly button in or out: In - Barely

Work Outs: One

Sleep: Sleep is becoming harder and harder to come by these days. I'm finding that I finally feel pretty uncomfortable if I try to sleep on my back.

Best moment this week: When Brandon felt our little guy kick for the first time! It was amazing.

Worst moment this week: Lack of sleep.

Miss anything: Sushi, margaritas, and beer.

Movement: Yes! This is just the best feeling. I can feel when he situates himself on different sides of my uterus.

Cravings: Nutella toast!

Queasy or sick: Nope. Feeling really good. 

Nursery: Just looking at rugs and curtains now.

Looking forward to: Meeting our little boy. It's been weighing on my mind a lot lately, and I am excited to meet my son. But not too soon! I want him to cook for quite a bit longer.

Bump It Up - 20 Weeks

How far along: 20 weeks

Gender: Boy. Boy. Boy!

Weight gain: 13 lbs. I may have eaten a few too many Easter candies these last two weeks.

Maternity clothes: No, but I'm in pretty desperate need of some maternity clothing. Especially work clothing. 

Stretch marks: No, but my belly has started to itch like the dickens. 

Belly button in or out: In

Work Outs: Zero. My lazy bum needs to get on the bike!

Sleep: I'm doing ok in the sleep department, but my hips usually hurt when I wake up.

Best moment this week: Seeing our little guy on the ultrasound screen. It was amazing getting to see all his parts, and that they were forming as they are supposed to.

Worst moment this week: Having Brandon head out of town for work.

Miss anything: Sushi!

Movement: Yes! This little guy has been kicking and punching up a storm. I've even felt him from the outside. Now if we could just get Brandon to feel him.

Cravings: I've got a crazy sweet tooth now. 

Queasy or sick: Nope. Feeling really good. 

Nursery: We've finally started on the nursery! We painted it this last week, and I'll post pictures later this week of the before and afters. I'm so excited to starting putting together our little dudes room.

Looking forward to: Brandon feeling our little boy kick! I know he can be felt from the outside, but his movements are so irregular that it has to be timed just right.